Math Teacher Arrested at JFK!!!

[NYC XYZ]

They say that at New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later
discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a
flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a
slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said
he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. The
FBI
is charging him with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Gonzalez said. "They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
search for absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y'
and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they
belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say,
'there are 3 sides to every triangle.'"

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have
given us more fingers and toes."

[marasu]

Are you really so antilogarithmic? Do you really need to fly off on
such hyperbolic tangents?

[a425couple]

The FBI is charging him with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Cute.

[Robert J. Kolker]

The FBI is charging him with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Cute.

Probaly the teacher was carrying a new age textbook of set theory.

Bob Kolker

[Zdislav V. Kovarik]

The FBI is charging him with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Cute.

In 1970, the "War Measures Act" was invoked in Canada (in response to
terrorist activities); a mathematician responded with "Weights and
Measures Act", according to which the Axiom of Choice was abolished, but
every set had to be well-ordered. There were other provisions, which I do
not recall.

Cheers, ZVK(Slavek).